Tuesday, April 7, 2009

naisaiku week 8

[ echoes of indian poetry 1 ] ~

"aami jene shoone beesh korechi paan "_tagore r .n._

' consciously,with awakened senses i've partaken of the death potion '_

no he's not talking of suicide here_he could well have used the word_which he avoids doing _it is the 'beesh'-the poison of life that he is talking of _ the hemlock that he willingly & knowingly consumes- out of free will ..

'alive i remain
with the senses awakened
SIPPING THE HEMLOCK
that puts me to sleep each day
but never kills me ' ..


/naisaiku /translation/z.g.©

~ ~
keep the stars burning
brighter on a moonless night
AGONIES TWINKLE *
brighter on a moonless night
keep the stars burning

/naisaiku /original/z.g.©//ref:-cmnt 1-!nversed Poignancy! /

[POST EDITED-the verse 'carousel' was deleted & replaced by the above-after cmnt 3/ED-AN ABSENCE TWINKLES*]
(Clickthis to find the deleted verse 'carousel' at Sr. No.10- )

6 comments:

!nversed Poignancy! said...

Reads neat and nice.
But, I couldnt see the NaiSaiKu mirror here..But,either ways this is good!

SweetTalkingGuy said...

SIPPING THE HEMLOCK, SOUNDS LIKE A DANGEROUS GAME TO PLAY, but I guess you have to know what you're doing!

Nicely thought out!!

zoya gautam said...

hi SweetTalkingGuy ,

do agree!
have only translated the famous line of a 'tagore' song there_

but then, he is no more_
& he sure knew what he was doing!.i'm sure u've heard of him..

anthonynorth said...

Going close to the edge in those words.
Excellent.

Pretty Me!! said...

nice naisaiku !!

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Hi Zoya, Yeah cool, I read some Rabindranath Tagore (translations) on indolink.com clever stuff!